[ He talks a lot to his omen. Likely because the omen looked mechanical. Wrench had always been like that. Felt safter around machines. Said omen was worried, though. This was more intense than it had seen before. What can it say? ]
I do not know. I think he is... a different person than he comes off a lot of the time. I would not like for him to think that I betrayed him, but...
What if I promise not to mention you? We'll keep this between us. I'll bring hot pockets and tell him I thought he might need something to eat. Can't work hard on an empty stomach.
[ It only took a few minutes to gather up the goods and she was out the door, making her way to Wrench's place. She's knocking on the door in less than ten minutes, something almost frantic to the beat. She's got a leather satchel slung over her shoulder but she's dressed much differently than what he's used to seeing her in. A sundress, no Hunter's coat, or weapon in sight. ]
[ Wrench had been pacing about. He'd stopped a few times to shout at nothing. Stopped another time to throw a chair. Sat down and tried to work. Remembered it was all pointless and got back up. Paced around some more before putting on the mask andβ a knock.
Shit. He froze. Fuck. There's no other way out. DID HE REALLY DO THIS AGAIN? Did he really make another fucking safe house with only one entrance and exit AGAIN. How stupid must he be. How can he be so stupid why was he so stupid. Think. Think. Or, you know. sit in a corner and make yourself small. Sure, that works. Maybe, maybe if he stays quiet. If he stays quiet, maybe they'll go awaβ god dammit, he didn't lock the door. ]
[ She knocks on the door again. Calls out to him. Knocks again. Curses and readies to leave when she eyes the handle. Might as well check, right? It turns! Gasp! Shock! Unlocked!
She pushes the door open, the movement slow as if she were unsure and peeks in. ] Wrench? [ Maybe he's already gone but then: there. She spots him huddled in the corner, pulled in on himself. Her heart freezes. A little icebox full of sudden, heart-stopping worry. She's by his side in a heartbeat, sinking down by him, ungloved hands reaching out to touch him gently. ]
Hey, hey [ Her voice is quiet, careful. As if she were talking to an injured animal. ] Talk to me, Wrench.
[ Okay. Breathe, and think. Yet, Wrench had his knees pulled up and face buried between them. Whoever this was would probably go away after a few minutes. Then he could gather himself up, go out for a few shots, and do something stupid. Not sure what yet. He had some explosives. Maybe he'd... use them. Somewhere.
Oh. They were trying the door. Oh no. It was Sharon. He tried to stumble up but she'd gotten to his side so fast that Wrench pushed himself back down and just decided to look at the super fascinating wall next to him. Wow, hell of a wall. ]
Oh, uh. Hey! [ Chipper, as he usually put on, but a lot or stumbly. That awkward anxiousness shining through. ] I'm just. [ A finger pointed at the wall. ] Looking at this. Wall. [ CLEAR THROAT. A hand rubbed the back of his neck. ] Y'know. Making sure its still here.
[ He looked toward her; display flicked to surprised, blinked to processing. Blinked to something more sad. He looked away again. His chin settled between his knees and a slow exhale followed. u_u
a little more resigned: ] can't blame me for trying, right?
[ He'd argue with Zane about this all the time. Mm..aybe he could. Tell her that. A hand went to rub anxiously where a ring once was some time ago. Never thought he'd be the type. Figured he'd die young. Alone. Spat down into the bowels of hell the same way he was brought into life. Messy and painfully. Out of them all he really never saw Horatio as being the one to go. Shit just kept coming. Did he fall in love or did he give up? Got jaded. Ran. He's getting off topic. ]
Yeah, I meanβ No. Iβ It's not you, Sharon. It's not, it's. I'd. [ Start, stop. Start, stop. Hesitation, awkwardness, anxiety in every word. Although the modulator did wonders making it all seem fluid in contrast to the jagged cadence. ] we'd have this argument a lot. Mβ He'd get frustrated, but it was never about him or that I couldn't trust him or didn't. It's me, it's. Me. Sometimes I can't, I can't. I don't know how else to say it. It wont come out, it just wont fucking come out.
Yanno? You know? [ His mask, questioning eyes, looked back toward Sharon. ] I just. I don't deal. Uh, I don't deal with anything really. I just. I drink, or I work. I put on this mask. I go fuck some shit up and I actβ [ gesticulation goes here. ]
[ The anxiety practically makes him vibrate. His words get stuck somewhere along the way out. In his brain or in his throat or tying up his tongue. Her lips press together to form a thin, sympathetic line. His mental pot is boiling over. Trench can be a bitch to cope with, especially when you don't cope and just stuff one tragedy or horror on top of the other. She squeezes his arm. ] I know. [ Empathetic & firm. ] It's easier to just... [ A shaking sigh ] swallow it than it is to deal with it. I-I get it. I do the same shit so... [ She shrugs. ] no judgment.
[ She pauses, lets her words sink in, and then continues. ] I didn't come over to pester you about your feelings. Or to get you to open up. [ She lifts the leather satchel under her arm and smiles at him. It's a little forced and a little awkward but she's trying. ] I brought you snacks.
Ohβ oh. [ Visibly, Wrench relaxed. He breathed out and let his body slump against the corner there. Though his mind still reeled with all sorts of things including the new addition of 'how pathetic do you have to be getting taken care of by someone half your age'. There was so much stuff. New, and old. Things that were years ago, a decade ago, and even older. Piled up, and piled up, and piled up.
Wrench looked her way just again just in time to catch that awkward smile. Don't worry, Sharon. He knew awkward. Actions mattered more, anyway. He didn't need a forced smile to see that she gave a damn but, you know, Wrench functioned a little different than most people. Part of why he wore this mask, actually. One reason out of many. He nodded and cut his attention toward... well, kinda nothing really. ]
Thanks. Iβ [ A few more nods. ] yeah. yeah its. suck that you know it.
[ She breathes a sigh of relief the moment she spots his shoulders loosening; as he breathes a little easier and pulls himself back together. She can see that he's still wound tight but he wasn't gonna collapse in on himself. ]
It is what it is. [ A shrug as she leans in to whisper. ] I am pretty fucking good at it, though. [ And then away again. She reaches to grab his arm, a guiding movement, to help hoist him to his feet. ] You like hot pockets, right? I figure that's good nerd-brain food. [ It might also be what she already had made. ]
[ Wrench wasn't sure that he was ready to get up yet, though. He needed more time to sort out all the circling thoughts in his mind. To digest them, or dispute them, or just... It didn't stop, it was just comforting to know he wasn't actually pressured to share. Wrench shook his head and put his hands up in defense when she tried to help him up. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I am too. [ He needed comfort, and he heard you about the food; appreciated it. Eventually would acknowledge it. Give him some time. First, he needed comfort. All of his comfort wasn't here. So he closed in on himself. Laid the side of his head on the tops of his knees and stared at the wall. Never knew he had this much pride until now. The things you learn about yourself, huh? ] Gets tiring, though. At a certain point it gets tiring.
[ There was quiet for a long time after that before he decided to speak up again. ] I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe there is no dealing with it. There's just feeling it and moving on.
[ Sharon doesn't mind waiting for him to speak; to find the right words to push out to her, if he finds them at all. She crouches beside him, close enough to reach out and touch him if she feels he needs it, but not so close as to encroach on his personal space. ]
Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do but feel it and go on. That's just one way to deal with it. [ She reaches out to nudge him. ] Other times, you let someone in and let them help you deal. It's not like you're alone here.
You don't have to swallow everything you're feeling if you don't want to. If you're tired of it, then stop. Do something different. Do something better for yourself, Wrench.
[ Let someone in. Let someone in. He reacted warmly to the nudge. If anything, he wanted more; a tactile person who often craved physical contact, but in a place like this it was hard to... well. And Sharon shouldn't have to deal with his shit on top of her own. He remembered what it was like to be the adult when you weren't among a bunch of adults who were anything but.
And furthermore. FURTHERMORE. It scared him. Every time he really let someone in it burned him. It was easier to seem like the weird uncle who sometimes just fucking disappears, and he deals with his shit eventually, drinks it down, comes back and continues to be Wrench. Cause no one fucking cares about Reggie marcus does. That ship sailed with the fucking divorce aiden and jackson did.
His fingers curled into the roughened fabric of jean.] easier said than done, man. I aβ [ And he's just waiting for the ball to drop with Peter; for Peter to realize he's not a good person. Maybe he wasn't. Sabine wasn't wrong, she just had the wrong idea on how to go about fixing shit. She wasn't wrong about him, though. She wasn't. ] appreciate you, though.
[ This felt different. This quiet panic; this spiral. Like a hole that was getting harder to climb out of. The depth he couldn't see an end to andβ It felt like... it felt like his mask was getting tighter, and things felt glitchy, and twitchy, and. ] but it doesn't fucking matter, Sharon. [ Did his voice sound even more mechanical? He slowly rolled up to his feet. That mask, it was glitching. ] It doesn't matter.
[ Sharon understands far too well what Wrench is going through. It's so much easier to handle everything alone. Though, for her, it was mostly out of necessity. She couldn't get close to people for so long and it's not like she could lean on her dad—he had too much on his shoulders to begin with. Even here, she'd rather suffer in silence than add her weight onto someone else.
Is it hypocritical of her to want someone to lean on her when they clearly need it? Probably. Definitely. But she's never had much of a problem being a hypocrite.
She clenches her jaw as his voice shifts and narrows her gaze up at him. ]
Don't think shit like that. [ There's some bite to those words as she pushes herself up to her feet, rising to stand in front of him. Her expression is firm but still full of a genuine, unignorable concern, lips and brows pinching together tightly. She's in his way. ] If it didn't matter—if you didn't matter—I wouldn't be here right now.
[ There's no ignoring the way his mask is glitching out and... she's never seen his mask do anything quite like this before. ] Do you want to fall into corruption? Turn into a fucking monster? Die? Because isolating yourself, holding everything you're going through in, is how you accomplish those things.
[ Yes. She is a massive fucking hypocrite and she's totally all right with that. ]
[ when you're alone... well, its lonely. but it's also safe. until it stops being safe and it stopped being safe for him a lot which then lead to nowhere being safe and that, along with many other things, lead to wrench. where he was safe. and now that was also becoming unsafe. so now nothing was safe and nowhere was safe from the madness that was one reginald blechman. and his anxiety. and his paranoia. and, and, and, and, and. no. he hugged himself tighter until something bubbled up so deep inside him at her words that he needed to bite back.
wrench was quick to his feet, quick to evade her and step around in order to put some distance between them. ready to spit fire but couldn't find the words. his mind spiraled. all he could see was nothing. thinking over and over again about her death, and about all the other deaths he's seen, and all the blood on his hand, and how fucking angry he was, and how fucking sad he was under that. all the time, all the time. all the things he wanted to say throughout all the years but never did. its like he wanted to be unhappy, like he hated reggie so much his freedom was also his punishment.
and when she insinuated that he mattered all he could do was let out a single and quiet laugh. pacing; body language tight and avoidant. ] you don't know the person i am, sharon. the ugly me. you know wrench.
So? [ Sharon's response is instantaneous, shoulders going up in a shrug. She doesn't need to know anything else about him to know she likes him as he is. It's not like he knows Alessa; he just knows Sharon. ] Everyone wears a mask, Wrench. Everyone is hiding from something in their past. Do you really think my opinion of you would change if I knew who you really were?
[ She doesn't let the question hang. ] It wouldn't. [ A pause as she approaches him again, voice softening. ] It won't. Maybe it's because I'm selfish, maybe it's because I'm ugly under my mask, too, but you matter. Every version of you. There is nothing you could tell me that would make me change my mind.
And I'm not just talking out my ass here. Anything you've done or felt in your life, I've done or felt worse. I promise. [ She will absolutely one-up him if he needs her to. And then they can be awful, terrible, no-good people together. ]
I do. yes. i do think that. [ and here he was backed into another corner. at least the scenery was different. it was strange to feel so vulnerable yet be stuck under the literal mask that gave him the strength to be everything he wanted to be. wrench realized that most of the time when people spoke of their ugly side they meant a violent, manipulative, or selfish one. that wasn't who reggie was, though. that was who wrench was and he embraced that for the most part.
it was never wrench who struggled with watching those workers go to town on kelley. it wasn't wrench who struggled with watching sabine fall to their death, either. aiden had called for reg, reg. it was reggie who didn't kill rempart. if he hadn't fucking tried to appeal to aiden's human side, if he hadn't revealed himself, rempart would be dead. he was sure of it. he was so sure of it and it would have been better, too.
wrench looked down at his feet and to his slightly shaking hands. he could feel his heart begin to race as his mind continued down a rabbit hole of what if, should have, and has been. remembering how he hid that day. alone. staring at the ground. immobile. he thought he'd grown from those times but... maybe not. maybe he was just playing pretend for a few years. recalibrating for the inevitable tail dive. he had to know it was coming. he had to. ]
i believe you. [ a beat or two went by. ] its not a violent person i'm hiding, sharon. [ everything about his body language spoke nervous. very different from who wrench was that, sure, came with anxious energy but a vibrant and chaotic one. not this. not this. this was isolated and small. ] it's a weak one.
Edited (MEH icon is better) Date: 2023-05-22 11:20 pm (UTC)
[ it's a weak one, he says, and something about that makes her let out a soft huff of a laugh, her expression sympathetic. that's not something she's ever thought herself as and she couldn't relate but... ]
So? [ as if the revelation wasn't that big of a deal. as if it didn't bother her in the slightest. she even shrugs her shoulders. ] Funny thing about that is... if you think you're a weak person, you can change that.
[ she reaches to take one of his shaking hands. ] You don't have to be weak, though I have a feeling you're not as weak as you think you are.
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Date: 2023-05-06 12:52 am (UTC)Yeah, okay. [ not really but she'll let him get back to whatever he's on a roll with. he's an adult and doesn't really need her needling. ]
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Date: 2023-05-06 01:21 am (UTC)he is not doing anything but he doesn't know how to talk about it.
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Date: 2023-05-06 05:30 pm (UTC)Would it help if I stopped by?
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Date: 2023-05-06 10:24 pm (UTC)I do not know. I think he is... a different person than he comes off a lot of the time. I would not like for him to think that I betrayed him, but...
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Date: 2023-05-06 10:33 pm (UTC)What if I promise not to mention you? We'll keep this between us. I'll bring hot pockets and tell him I thought he might need something to eat. Can't work hard on an empty stomach.
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Date: 2023-05-06 10:43 pm (UTC)come soon. he is getting restless. i think he might leave shortly. [ and likely to do something stupid. ]
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Date: 2023-05-06 10:53 pm (UTC)[ It only took a few minutes to gather up the goods and she was out the door, making her way to Wrench's place. She's knocking on the door in less than ten minutes, something almost frantic to the beat. She's got a leather satchel slung over her shoulder but she's dressed much differently than what he's used to seeing her in. A sundress, no Hunter's coat, or weapon in sight. ]
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Date: 2023-05-06 11:51 pm (UTC)Shit. He froze. Fuck. There's no other way out. DID HE REALLY DO THIS AGAIN? Did he really make another fucking safe house with only one entrance and exit AGAIN. How stupid must he be. How can he be so stupid why was he so stupid. Think. Think. Or, you know. sit in a corner and make yourself small. Sure, that works. Maybe, maybe if he stays quiet. If he stays quiet, maybe they'll go awaβ god dammit, he didn't lock the door. ]
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Date: 2023-05-07 12:50 am (UTC)She pushes the door open, the movement slow as if she were unsure and peeks in. ] Wrench? [ Maybe he's already gone but then: there. She spots him huddled in the corner, pulled in on himself. Her heart freezes. A little icebox full of sudden, heart-stopping worry. She's by his side in a heartbeat, sinking down by him, ungloved hands reaching out to touch him gently. ]
Hey, hey [ Her voice is quiet, careful. As if she were talking to an injured animal. ] Talk to me, Wrench.
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Date: 2023-05-07 01:16 am (UTC)Oh. They were trying the door. Oh no. It was Sharon. He tried to stumble up but she'd gotten to his side so fast that Wrench pushed himself back down and just decided to look at the super fascinating wall next to him. Wow, hell of a wall. ]
Oh, uh. Hey! [ Chipper, as he usually put on, but a lot or stumbly. That awkward anxiousness shining through. ] I'm just. [ A finger pointed at the wall. ] Looking at this. Wall. [ CLEAR THROAT. A hand rubbed the back of his neck. ] Y'know. Making sure its still here.
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Date: 2023-05-07 01:31 am (UTC)And then promptly punches him in the bicep. ]
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Date: 2023-05-07 01:52 am (UTC)a little more resigned: ] can't blame me for trying, right?
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Date: 2023-05-07 02:07 am (UTC)You can talk to me, you know?
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Date: 2023-05-07 02:38 am (UTC)Yeah, I meanβ No. Iβ It's not you, Sharon. It's not, it's. I'd. [ Start, stop. Start, stop. Hesitation, awkwardness, anxiety in every word. Although the modulator did wonders making it all seem fluid in contrast to the jagged cadence. ] we'd have this argument a lot. Mβ He'd get frustrated, but it was never about him or that I couldn't trust him or didn't. It's me, it's. Me. Sometimes I can't, I can't. I don't know how else to say it. It wont come out, it just wont fucking come out.
Yanno? You know? [ His mask, questioning eyes, looked back toward Sharon. ] I just. I don't deal. Uh, I don't deal with anything really. I just. I drink, or I work. I put on this mask. I go fuck some shit up and I actβ [ gesticulation goes here. ]
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Date: 2023-05-07 09:35 pm (UTC)[ She pauses, lets her words sink in, and then continues. ] I didn't come over to pester you about your feelings. Or to get you to open up. [ She lifts the leather satchel under her arm and smiles at him. It's a little forced and a little awkward but she's trying. ] I brought you snacks.
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Date: 2023-05-08 03:05 am (UTC)Wrench looked her way just again just in time to catch that awkward smile. Don't worry, Sharon. He knew awkward. Actions mattered more, anyway. He didn't need a forced smile to see that she gave a damn but, you know, Wrench functioned a little different than most people. Part of why he wore this mask, actually. One reason out of many. He nodded and cut his attention toward... well, kinda nothing really. ]
Thanks. Iβ [ A few more nods. ] yeah. yeah its. suck that you know it.
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Date: 2023-05-08 03:44 am (UTC)It is what it is. [ A shrug as she leans in to whisper. ] I am pretty fucking good at it, though. [ And then away again. She reaches to grab his arm, a guiding movement, to help hoist him to his feet. ] You like hot pockets, right? I figure that's good nerd-brain food. [ It might also be what she already had made. ]
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Date: 2023-05-11 01:43 am (UTC)Yeah. Yeah, I am too. [ He needed comfort, and he heard you about the food; appreciated it. Eventually would acknowledge it. Give him some time. First, he needed comfort. All of his comfort wasn't here. So he closed in on himself. Laid the side of his head on the tops of his knees and stared at the wall. Never knew he had this much pride until now. The things you learn about yourself, huh? ] Gets tiring, though. At a certain point it gets tiring.
[ There was quiet for a long time after that before he decided to speak up again. ] I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe there is no dealing with it. There's just feeling it and moving on.
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Date: 2023-05-11 03:07 am (UTC)Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do but feel it and go on. That's just one way to deal with it. [ She reaches out to nudge him. ] Other times, you let someone in and let them help you deal. It's not like you're alone here.
You don't have to swallow everything you're feeling if you don't want to. If you're tired of it, then stop. Do something different. Do something better for yourself, Wrench.
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Date: 2023-05-16 12:19 pm (UTC)And furthermore. FURTHERMORE. It scared him. Every time he really let someone in it burned him. It was easier to seem like the weird uncle who sometimes just fucking disappears, and he deals with his shit eventually, drinks it down, comes back and continues to be Wrench. Cause no one fucking cares about Reggie
marcus does. That ship sailed with the fucking divorceaiden and jackson did.His fingers curled into the roughened fabric of jean.] easier said than done, man. I aβ [ And he's just waiting for the ball to drop with Peter; for Peter to realize he's not a good person. Maybe he wasn't. Sabine wasn't wrong, she just had the wrong idea on how to go about fixing shit. She wasn't wrong about him, though. She wasn't. ] appreciate you, though.
[ This felt different. This quiet panic; this spiral. Like a hole that was getting harder to climb out of. The depth he couldn't see an end to andβ It felt like... it felt like his mask was getting tighter, and things felt glitchy, and twitchy, and. ] but it doesn't fucking matter, Sharon. [ Did his voice sound even more mechanical? He slowly rolled up to his feet. That mask, it was glitching. ] It doesn't matter.
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Date: 2023-05-19 01:37 am (UTC)Is it hypocritical of her to want someone to lean on her when they clearly need it? Probably. Definitely. But she's never had much of a problem being a hypocrite.
She clenches her jaw as his voice shifts and narrows her gaze up at him. ]
Don't think shit like that. [ There's some bite to those words as she pushes herself up to her feet, rising to stand in front of him. Her expression is firm but still full of a genuine, unignorable concern, lips and brows pinching together tightly. She's in his way. ] If it didn't matter—if you didn't matter—I wouldn't be here right now.
[ There's no ignoring the way his mask is glitching out and... she's never seen his mask do anything quite like this before. ] Do you want to fall into corruption? Turn into a fucking monster? Die? Because isolating yourself, holding everything you're going through in, is how you accomplish those things.
[ Yes. She is a massive fucking hypocrite and she's totally all right with that. ]
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Date: 2023-05-20 03:32 am (UTC)wrench was quick to his feet, quick to evade her and step around in order to put some distance between them. ready to spit fire but couldn't find the words. his mind spiraled. all he could see was nothing. thinking over and over again about her death, and about all the other deaths he's seen, and all the blood on his hand, and how fucking angry he was, and how fucking sad he was under that. all the time, all the time. all the things he wanted to say throughout all the years but never did. its like he wanted to be unhappy, like he hated reggie so much his freedom was also his punishment.
and when she insinuated that he mattered all he could do was let out a single and quiet laugh. pacing; body language tight and avoidant. ] you don't know the person i am, sharon. the ugly me. you know wrench.
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Date: 2023-05-21 01:28 am (UTC)[ She doesn't let the question hang. ] It wouldn't. [ A pause as she approaches him again, voice softening. ] It won't. Maybe it's because I'm selfish, maybe it's because I'm ugly under my mask, too, but you matter. Every version of you. There is nothing you could tell me that would make me change my mind.
And I'm not just talking out my ass here. Anything you've done or felt in your life, I've done or felt worse. I promise. [ She will absolutely one-up him if he needs her to. And then they can be awful, terrible, no-good people together. ]
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Date: 2023-05-22 11:49 am (UTC)it was never wrench who struggled with watching those workers go to town on kelley. it wasn't wrench who struggled with watching sabine fall to their death, either. aiden had called for reg, reg. it was reggie who didn't kill rempart. if he hadn't fucking tried to appeal to aiden's human side, if he hadn't revealed himself, rempart would be dead. he was sure of it. he was so sure of it and it would have been better, too.
wrench looked down at his feet and to his slightly shaking hands. he could feel his heart begin to race as his mind continued down a rabbit hole of what if, should have, and has been. remembering how he hid that day. alone. staring at the ground. immobile. he thought he'd grown from those times but... maybe not. maybe he was just playing pretend for a few years. recalibrating for the inevitable tail dive. he had to know it was coming. he had to. ]
i believe you. [ a beat or two went by. ] its not a violent person i'm hiding, sharon. [ everything about his body language spoke nervous. very different from who wrench was that, sure, came with anxious energy but a vibrant and chaotic one. not this. not this. this was isolated and small. ] it's a weak one.
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Date: 2023-05-23 08:38 pm (UTC)So? [ as if the revelation wasn't that big of a deal. as if it didn't bother her in the slightest. she even shrugs her shoulders. ] Funny thing about that is... if you think you're a weak person, you can change that.
[ she reaches to take one of his shaking hands. ] You don't have to be weak, though I have a feeling you're not as weak as you think you are.
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