[ She holds it tightly, thumb rubbing gently against the leathered patches of flesh. Everything she does is repetitive. Something he can focus on. Something to latch on to. ]
When I had my first panic attack here, I was shoved into a place that reminded me of the horrors I experienced back home. [ She's just talking to fill the space. To give him more to focus on beyond his breathing and the tightness of his chest and heart and skin. ] It was like my brain was working in overdrive. I was so fucking scared and I couldn't get ahold of myself. I tried but I was stuck. Trapped.
Luckily, someone found me. Peter found me. He guided me through it like I just did with you. Made me breathe in and out over and over until I could feel the air in my lungs and my brain was no longer a weird, buzzing mess of fear. [ A pause and she gives the hand she's holding a squeeze. ] I hope I've helped quiet the buzz in your brain.
[ Another pause. Another gentle squeeze. ] And I'm sorry for scaring you.
[ It helps. The predictable movement. Knowing he was here. It was real. Maybe that was part of the anxiety but he still had something, someone, to grab onto. Her voice, steady. Wrench swallowed the dry lump in his throat as he continued to breathe. ]
First time, huh? [ A joke, of course. Though an earnest question at the same time. Everything she described was exactly a panic attack. Had been awhile since he'd had one. Can't say he missed it. Wrench nodded. ] I'm sorry I tried to hit you with my hammer.
[ She responds to his joke with a gentle pinch even as she lets out a huff of laughter from her nose. It took over half a year for her to reach a point where she had a panic attack and it really challenged her. ]
No worries, you missed. [ As if she'd have responded differently if he'd hit her (she wouldn't have, she's joking, too). ] You could really fuck someone up with that, though. It's badass.
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Date: 2023-06-17 10:58 pm (UTC)When I had my first panic attack here, I was shoved into a place that reminded me of the horrors I experienced back home. [ She's just talking to fill the space. To give him more to focus on beyond his breathing and the tightness of his chest and heart and skin. ] It was like my brain was working in overdrive. I was so fucking scared and I couldn't get ahold of myself. I tried but I was stuck. Trapped.
Luckily, someone found me. Peter found me. He guided me through it like I just did with you. Made me breathe in and out over and over until I could feel the air in my lungs and my brain was no longer a weird, buzzing mess of fear. [ A pause and she gives the hand she's holding a squeeze. ] I hope I've helped quiet the buzz in your brain.
[ Another pause. Another gentle squeeze. ] And I'm sorry for scaring you.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-29 01:43 am (UTC)First time, huh? [ A joke, of course. Though an earnest question at the same time. Everything she described was exactly a panic attack. Had been awhile since he'd had one. Can't say he missed it. Wrench nodded. ] I'm sorry I tried to hit you with my hammer.
no subject
Date: 2023-07-02 09:59 pm (UTC)No worries, you missed. [ As if she'd have responded differently if he'd hit her (she wouldn't have, she's joking, too). ] You could really fuck someone up with that, though. It's badass.