Oh. Yeah, well yanno. Been putting shit together over here. Trying to figure out how to. uh, anything. what with science being wildly different from what i'm used to and all.
[ he should say something? he should say something, right? Can't just ignore that sentence about last month or really any time of anything if they're being fucking honest. ] hell of a month though, huh?
[ there is a really long pause. he wants to say 'i have some idea' but he can't, so he doesn't. he wants to offer going out and just making a mess of things but he can't, so he doesn't. he wants to keep pretending that he's just been 'working' but he hasn't, and its hard to keep up...it's hard to keep up Wrench when there's nothing to Wrench. ]
hey. so. i was really on a roll actually with something. maybe we can chat later. maybe i can check in later?
[ He talks a lot to his omen. Likely because the omen looked mechanical. Wrench had always been like that. Felt safter around machines. Said omen was worried, though. This was more intense than it had seen before. What can it say? ]
I do not know. I think he is... a different person than he comes off a lot of the time. I would not like for him to think that I betrayed him, but...
What if I promise not to mention you? We'll keep this between us. I'll bring hot pockets and tell him I thought he might need something to eat. Can't work hard on an empty stomach.
[ It only took a few minutes to gather up the goods and she was out the door, making her way to Wrench's place. She's knocking on the door in less than ten minutes, something almost frantic to the beat. She's got a leather satchel slung over her shoulder but she's dressed much differently than what he's used to seeing her in. A sundress, no Hunter's coat, or weapon in sight. ]
[ Wrench had been pacing about. He'd stopped a few times to shout at nothing. Stopped another time to throw a chair. Sat down and tried to work. Remembered it was all pointless and got back up. Paced around some more before putting on the mask andβ a knock.
Shit. He froze. Fuck. There's no other way out. DID HE REALLY DO THIS AGAIN? Did he really make another fucking safe house with only one entrance and exit AGAIN. How stupid must he be. How can he be so stupid why was he so stupid. Think. Think. Or, you know. sit in a corner and make yourself small. Sure, that works. Maybe, maybe if he stays quiet. If he stays quiet, maybe they'll go awaβ god dammit, he didn't lock the door. ]
[ She knocks on the door again. Calls out to him. Knocks again. Curses and readies to leave when she eyes the handle. Might as well check, right? It turns! Gasp! Shock! Unlocked!
She pushes the door open, the movement slow as if she were unsure and peeks in. ] Wrench? [ Maybe he's already gone but then: there. She spots him huddled in the corner, pulled in on himself. Her heart freezes. A little icebox full of sudden, heart-stopping worry. She's by his side in a heartbeat, sinking down by him, ungloved hands reaching out to touch him gently. ]
Hey, hey [ Her voice is quiet, careful. As if she were talking to an injured animal. ] Talk to me, Wrench.
[ Okay. Breathe, and think. Yet, Wrench had his knees pulled up and face buried between them. Whoever this was would probably go away after a few minutes. Then he could gather himself up, go out for a few shots, and do something stupid. Not sure what yet. He had some explosives. Maybe he'd... use them. Somewhere.
Oh. They were trying the door. Oh no. It was Sharon. He tried to stumble up but she'd gotten to his side so fast that Wrench pushed himself back down and just decided to look at the super fascinating wall next to him. Wow, hell of a wall. ]
Oh, uh. Hey! [ Chipper, as he usually put on, but a lot or stumbly. That awkward anxiousness shining through. ] I'm just. [ A finger pointed at the wall. ] Looking at this. Wall. [ CLEAR THROAT. A hand rubbed the back of his neck. ] Y'know. Making sure its still here.
[ He looked toward her; display flicked to surprised, blinked to processing. Blinked to something more sad. He looked away again. His chin settled between his knees and a slow exhale followed. u_u
a little more resigned: ] can't blame me for trying, right?
[ He'd argue with Zane about this all the time. Mm..aybe he could. Tell her that. A hand went to rub anxiously where a ring once was some time ago. Never thought he'd be the type. Figured he'd die young. Alone. Spat down into the bowels of hell the same way he was brought into life. Messy and painfully. Out of them all he really never saw Horatio as being the one to go. Shit just kept coming. Did he fall in love or did he give up? Got jaded. Ran. He's getting off topic. ]
Yeah, I meanβ No. Iβ It's not you, Sharon. It's not, it's. I'd. [ Start, stop. Start, stop. Hesitation, awkwardness, anxiety in every word. Although the modulator did wonders making it all seem fluid in contrast to the jagged cadence. ] we'd have this argument a lot. Mβ He'd get frustrated, but it was never about him or that I couldn't trust him or didn't. It's me, it's. Me. Sometimes I can't, I can't. I don't know how else to say it. It wont come out, it just wont fucking come out.
Yanno? You know? [ His mask, questioning eyes, looked back toward Sharon. ] I just. I don't deal. Uh, I don't deal with anything really. I just. I drink, or I work. I put on this mask. I go fuck some shit up and I actβ [ gesticulation goes here. ]
[ The anxiety practically makes him vibrate. His words get stuck somewhere along the way out. In his brain or in his throat or tying up his tongue. Her lips press together to form a thin, sympathetic line. His mental pot is boiling over. Trench can be a bitch to cope with, especially when you don't cope and just stuff one tragedy or horror on top of the other. She squeezes his arm. ] I know. [ Empathetic & firm. ] It's easier to just... [ A shaking sigh ] swallow it than it is to deal with it. I-I get it. I do the same shit so... [ She shrugs. ] no judgment.
[ She pauses, lets her words sink in, and then continues. ] I didn't come over to pester you about your feelings. Or to get you to open up. [ She lifts the leather satchel under her arm and smiles at him. It's a little forced and a little awkward but she's trying. ] I brought you snacks.
Ohβ oh. [ Visibly, Wrench relaxed. He breathed out and let his body slump against the corner there. Though his mind still reeled with all sorts of things including the new addition of 'how pathetic do you have to be getting taken care of by someone half your age'. There was so much stuff. New, and old. Things that were years ago, a decade ago, and even older. Piled up, and piled up, and piled up.
Wrench looked her way just again just in time to catch that awkward smile. Don't worry, Sharon. He knew awkward. Actions mattered more, anyway. He didn't need a forced smile to see that she gave a damn but, you know, Wrench functioned a little different than most people. Part of why he wore this mask, actually. One reason out of many. He nodded and cut his attention toward... well, kinda nothing really. ]
Thanks. Iβ [ A few more nods. ] yeah. yeah its. suck that you know it.
[ She breathes a sigh of relief the moment she spots his shoulders loosening; as he breathes a little easier and pulls himself back together. She can see that he's still wound tight but he wasn't gonna collapse in on himself. ]
It is what it is. [ A shrug as she leans in to whisper. ] I am pretty fucking good at it, though. [ And then away again. She reaches to grab his arm, a guiding movement, to help hoist him to his feet. ] You like hot pockets, right? I figure that's good nerd-brain food. [ It might also be what she already had made. ]
[ Wrench wasn't sure that he was ready to get up yet, though. He needed more time to sort out all the circling thoughts in his mind. To digest them, or dispute them, or just... It didn't stop, it was just comforting to know he wasn't actually pressured to share. Wrench shook his head and put his hands up in defense when she tried to help him up. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I am too. [ He needed comfort, and he heard you about the food; appreciated it. Eventually would acknowledge it. Give him some time. First, he needed comfort. All of his comfort wasn't here. So he closed in on himself. Laid the side of his head on the tops of his knees and stared at the wall. Never knew he had this much pride until now. The things you learn about yourself, huh? ] Gets tiring, though. At a certain point it gets tiring.
[ There was quiet for a long time after that before he decided to speak up again. ] I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe there is no dealing with it. There's just feeling it and moving on.
[ Sharon doesn't mind waiting for him to speak; to find the right words to push out to her, if he finds them at all. She crouches beside him, close enough to reach out and touch him if she feels he needs it, but not so close as to encroach on his personal space. ]
Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do but feel it and go on. That's just one way to deal with it. [ She reaches out to nudge him. ] Other times, you let someone in and let them help you deal. It's not like you're alone here.
You don't have to swallow everything you're feeling if you don't want to. If you're tired of it, then stop. Do something different. Do something better for yourself, Wrench.
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wrenchedup) wrote2033-11-30 01:20 am
text | un: sds
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[ he is on that struggle bus sharon. ]
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I'm all right. Tying to recover from last month's insanity.
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[ he should say something? he should say something, right? Can't just ignore that sentence about last month or really any time of anything if they're being fucking honest. ] hell of a month though, huh?
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Bad for you, too? Or just crazy?
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hey. so. i was really on a roll actually with something. maybe we can chat later. maybe i can check in later?
[ he will not. but. his omen will. lmfao. ]
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Yeah, okay. [ not really but she'll let him get back to whatever he's on a roll with. he's an adult and doesn't really need her needling. ]
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he is not doing anything but he doesn't know how to talk about it.
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Would it help if I stopped by?
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I do not know. I think he is... a different person than he comes off a lot of the time. I would not like for him to think that I betrayed him, but...
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What if I promise not to mention you? We'll keep this between us. I'll bring hot pockets and tell him I thought he might need something to eat. Can't work hard on an empty stomach.
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come soon. he is getting restless. i think he might leave shortly. [ and likely to do something stupid. ]
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[ It only took a few minutes to gather up the goods and she was out the door, making her way to Wrench's place. She's knocking on the door in less than ten minutes, something almost frantic to the beat. She's got a leather satchel slung over her shoulder but she's dressed much differently than what he's used to seeing her in. A sundress, no Hunter's coat, or weapon in sight. ]
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Shit. He froze. Fuck. There's no other way out. DID HE REALLY DO THIS AGAIN? Did he really make another fucking safe house with only one entrance and exit AGAIN. How stupid must he be. How can he be so stupid why was he so stupid. Think. Think. Or, you know. sit in a corner and make yourself small. Sure, that works. Maybe, maybe if he stays quiet. If he stays quiet, maybe they'll go awaβ god dammit, he didn't lock the door. ]
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She pushes the door open, the movement slow as if she were unsure and peeks in. ] Wrench? [ Maybe he's already gone but then: there. She spots him huddled in the corner, pulled in on himself. Her heart freezes. A little icebox full of sudden, heart-stopping worry. She's by his side in a heartbeat, sinking down by him, ungloved hands reaching out to touch him gently. ]
Hey, hey [ Her voice is quiet, careful. As if she were talking to an injured animal. ] Talk to me, Wrench.
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Oh. They were trying the door. Oh no. It was Sharon. He tried to stumble up but she'd gotten to his side so fast that Wrench pushed himself back down and just decided to look at the super fascinating wall next to him. Wow, hell of a wall. ]
Oh, uh. Hey! [ Chipper, as he usually put on, but a lot or stumbly. That awkward anxiousness shining through. ] I'm just. [ A finger pointed at the wall. ] Looking at this. Wall. [ CLEAR THROAT. A hand rubbed the back of his neck. ] Y'know. Making sure its still here.
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And then promptly punches him in the bicep. ]
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a little more resigned: ] can't blame me for trying, right?
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You can talk to me, you know?
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Yeah, I meanβ No. Iβ It's not you, Sharon. It's not, it's. I'd. [ Start, stop. Start, stop. Hesitation, awkwardness, anxiety in every word. Although the modulator did wonders making it all seem fluid in contrast to the jagged cadence. ] we'd have this argument a lot. Mβ He'd get frustrated, but it was never about him or that I couldn't trust him or didn't. It's me, it's. Me. Sometimes I can't, I can't. I don't know how else to say it. It wont come out, it just wont fucking come out.
Yanno? You know? [ His mask, questioning eyes, looked back toward Sharon. ] I just. I don't deal. Uh, I don't deal with anything really. I just. I drink, or I work. I put on this mask. I go fuck some shit up and I actβ [ gesticulation goes here. ]
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[ She pauses, lets her words sink in, and then continues. ] I didn't come over to pester you about your feelings. Or to get you to open up. [ She lifts the leather satchel under her arm and smiles at him. It's a little forced and a little awkward but she's trying. ] I brought you snacks.
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Wrench looked her way just again just in time to catch that awkward smile. Don't worry, Sharon. He knew awkward. Actions mattered more, anyway. He didn't need a forced smile to see that she gave a damn but, you know, Wrench functioned a little different than most people. Part of why he wore this mask, actually. One reason out of many. He nodded and cut his attention toward... well, kinda nothing really. ]
Thanks. Iβ [ A few more nods. ] yeah. yeah its. suck that you know it.
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It is what it is. [ A shrug as she leans in to whisper. ] I am pretty fucking good at it, though. [ And then away again. She reaches to grab his arm, a guiding movement, to help hoist him to his feet. ] You like hot pockets, right? I figure that's good nerd-brain food. [ It might also be what she already had made. ]
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Yeah. Yeah, I am too. [ He needed comfort, and he heard you about the food; appreciated it. Eventually would acknowledge it. Give him some time. First, he needed comfort. All of his comfort wasn't here. So he closed in on himself. Laid the side of his head on the tops of his knees and stared at the wall. Never knew he had this much pride until now. The things you learn about yourself, huh? ] Gets tiring, though. At a certain point it gets tiring.
[ There was quiet for a long time after that before he decided to speak up again. ] I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe there is no dealing with it. There's just feeling it and moving on.
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Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do but feel it and go on. That's just one way to deal with it. [ She reaches out to nudge him. ] Other times, you let someone in and let them help you deal. It's not like you're alone here.
You don't have to swallow everything you're feeling if you don't want to. If you're tired of it, then stop. Do something different. Do something better for yourself, Wrench.
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